22 Things I Would Rather Do Than Work Today

Christmas is just six days away, and I don't know about y'all, but I am READY. I don't want to do literally anything but watch Home Alone and eat Reese's Trees. Has anyone else checked out for the holidays? I can't be the only one.

Here's a list of all the things I would rather do than actually work:

1. be waterboarded
2. be punched in the face
3. run a marathon
4. kick a hornet's nest
5. be an Auburn fan
6. die
7. watch 88 episodes of Paw Patrol
8. shoot myself in the foot
9. eat an entire jar of the pickled eggs on a gas station counter
10. cry
11. think I am running a really hot bath but get in the tub only to find the water is tepid
12. cry in said tepid tub
13. kick a porcupine
14. go to a Tennessee game
15. get into an argument about politics at a family function
16. drive a car with no working brakes
17. eat a cold cheeseburger
18. jump off a bridge
19. eat raw, unseasoned kale
20. sleep in a pit of snakes
21. drive down McFarland Boulevard at 5 p.m.
22. literally anything else