You know what Tuscaloosa needs? MORE APARTMENTS! Here are the top five reasons why the Druid City needs to add more apartments and condos:

(This is sarcasm, by the way.)

1. Rent is already ridiculously affordable.

$1500 for a two-bedroom house? Who doesn't have that kind of cash just hanging out in her bank account? Why would I pay $540 a month for a three bedroom like I did in college in Kentucky when I could pay almost three times that amount for LESS space?

2. All our apartment complexes are at maximum capacity.

A three year old apartment complex at only 60 percent occupancy? NOT IN THIS TOWN, PAL.

3. We don't have enough choices when it comes to apartments and condos.

It's not like we have literally 48369843798372847381321308345 rentals for students. And it's not like those rentals have a range of amenities from maid service to infinity pools to saunas and more.

4. The city skyline could use more bigass buildings.

Why would I want to take in the majesty of a southern sunset when I could have my view blocked by a ten-story apartment complex with added parking garage?

5. We don't need cool old buildings.

Why re-purpose existing structures when we can just raze them down and build a new set of condos? Let's make tenants of shopping centers and family-owned businesses move so we can build another apartment complex. That's progress, people!

Seriously: we don't need any more apartments and condos. Let's use what we have. 

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