If you haven't needed a COVID-19 test yet, you need to buy a lottery ticket as soon as possible because you are incredibly lucky.

I had my second test yesterday after exposure to someone who tested positive for the novel Coronavirus. I wanted to get tested as soon as possible, as I want to do my part to ensure I'm not out asymptomatic on these streets spreading the virus to anyone and everyone.

I had my first test in June. It sucked. The testing swab went so far into my sinuses that I could have sworn that it was in my brain. Like, I am almost positive (okay, bad pun) that this test dislodged several repressed memories. It went THAT deep.

Imagine a flu swab that goes all the way into your soul. 0/10. No stars. Do not recommend.

The staff who did the test were great, and I appreciate their willingness to take care of a whiny baby like me during the test process. I got my results back in about 48 hours, and during that time I had to quarantine. I literally isolated myself from everyone. I was SO LONELY.

I had to go through the entire drill again yesterday, but I did something different this time: I got a rapid COVID-19 test.

It sucked, but I received my results in less than 30 minutes. How cool is that?

The only downside was that the rapid test can't be done with a mouth swab, so I had to literally restrain my eight-year-old while they swabbed the inside of her nose.

Still--results in less than 30 minutes? Not bad at all.

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