You Have A Southern Mama If…
It's Mother's Day 2018. Have you called your mom today? Better yet, have you given her a hug? Mother's Day is unique in the fact that other than Father's Day, it's the one holiday that every human being on earth can celebrate. If you're blessed enough to still have your mother living, I can almost guarantee that she'd love to see you or hear your voice today.
The job of being a mom has got to be tough. Mom's are the glue that often holds the family unit together and their job is never done, regardless of how old we get. Often as children growing up, we've forced mom to make some rather creative "threats" to get our attention whenever we weren't being the little angels we should have been. If you're fortunate enough to have been raised in the south by a southern mama, there's no doubt you've heard these a time or two:
1) Don't make me turn this car around!
2) I'm gonna tan your hide!
3) I'm fixin' to jerk a knot in your tail!
4) I'm gonna was your mouth out with soap! (This actually happened to me. Yuck!)
5) I'm gonna pinch your head off!
6) You better get dressed, or I'm taking you to school nekkid!
7) Don't make me tell you one more time!
8) You're gonna sit at that table until them collards are gone!
9) Pick up those toys or I'm taking them to Goodwill!
10) Stop cryin' or I'll give you something to cry about! (I heard this NUMEROUS times!)
11) Y'all keep wrasslin' and somebody's gonna get hurt!
12) I brought you into this world and I can certainly take you out!
13) Do you want me to go cut a switch?!
Happy Mother's Day Mom! I love you and apologize for all the times I made you use these!