![30 Things Women Over 30 Should Never Wear](http://townsquare.media/site/530/files/2018/02/RS2322_86540034.jpg?w=980&q=75)
30 Things Women Over 30 Should Never Wear
I'm a few months away from being 34. Although I am tempted to lie and say I am still 29, it's really not that big of a deal. I do, however, need to lay down some rules when it comes to mid-thirties fashion. Y'all ready for this?
Here's a list of the 30 things women over 30 should never wear:
- Crocs
- Robes cursed by angry wizards
- Raccoon caps (doubly true if the raccoon is still alive)
- Trash bags
- Anything with flu germs on it
- Disappointment over a man's opinion
- Licorice as jewelry
- A necklace fashioned from the tape part of a VHS (although on the second thought, that sounds kinda cool)
- Wasabi as eyeshadow
- Sunscreen with an SPF of less than 30
- A hat fashioned from pot roast scraps
- Glass slippers (highly impractical)
- Dead goldfish earrings
- Someone else's dirty underwear
- Underwire bras with broken wires (it feels like you're being constantly stabbed and it is TORTURE)
- Poison Ivy flower crowns
- Heavy coats in deserts
- Papercuts
- Whipped cream bikinis (I don't care what you saw on Varsity Blues; it's really uncomfortable)
- Saran Wrap face masks
- A Halloween costume to a funeral (unless it's a clown funeral, in which case all bets are off)
- Haunted dolls in Baby Bjorns
- The blood of your enemies (still technically illegal)
- All black when using chlorine bleach
A scarlet "A" in divorce court(nevermind; that would be hilarious)- Honey-smeared skin before walking over a fire ant hill
- Bees
- Mom jeans-- j/k they are hella comfortable
- Literal bear claws
- Anything that makes you feel uncomfortable
I say: you do you. Let the haters hate!
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